Have you ever wondered how much you accept and believe in yourself?
How can I tell if I accept myself?
How can I know if I respect myself enough and am a capable person?

Have you noticed how sometimes people get excited to take photos with, say, a European or someone with blonde hair and blue eyes?
Have you noticed how most of us aren’t particularly proud to take a photo with an Afghan brother or sister?
Taking photos with Asians? It doesn’t matter to us at all.
As soon as someone is foreign, they suddenly gain a certain prestige! Why?
As soon as someone becomes a stranger and leaves our family, the farther they go, the more we feel a sense of respect and importance toward them!
Do you know why the proverb “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is so common in Persian culture?

In one of my programs, I gave an example:
When I got married, after some time, my first marriage failed, and I thought to myself, “Why did I rush into marrying that girl?”
I had a car that was nice and ideal for my budget, but I envied my friend’s car, even though my friend said, “Your car is much better than mine.”
When I thought about it, I realized, “How do I know that if I had married that girl, I wouldn’t have felt the same way and said, ‘I wish I had married her instead’?”

Why do we feel this way?
And why does something lose its value once we attain it?

Let me give an example of a pond filled with color.
Imagine there’s a pond between you and the outside world, and anything that wants to connect with us must pass through this pond and take on its color. If I pour the color of inferiority into this pond, what happens?
Everything that connects with me takes on this color of inferiority.
My child, my spouse, my friend, my parents, my city, my country, my car, my furniture—everything that passes through this color of inferiority loses its value. But anything that hasn’t passed through it remains precious and respected.

In Seminar X (Session 6!), we say, “It’s foreign.”
No matter their status or rank, it doesn’t matter!
When we take a photo with them, we feel happy and proud.

The ideas and thoughts within our own country exist, but we don’t appreciate them. Instead, we go abroad and say, “An Iranian man works at NASA or in Canada.”
A man in Canada or a woman in Europe—that’s when they gain value!
Why is this the case?

Why don’t we wear our traditional clothes or take pride in our accents?
Why do we try to imitate others?
How much respect do we have for ourselves?
How much do we value ourselves?
It’s very simple!

Statistics show that about 95% of parents look down on their children because they’re young and small, and this relationship of inferiority persists until adulthood.
The parents may no longer be around, but the sense of inferiority remains!

Why do we get upset when our child grows up, holds their head high, puffs out their chest, or styles themselves differently?
What’s the root of this?
What are they ultimately trying to do?
Why don’t we criticize a foreign youth for behaving this way?
Why do we listen to foreign music but not our own?
There’s something wrong here!

We need to learn that:
We are also part of the global chain.

Seminar X (Session 6!)
Perhaps it’s because, since childhood, technology, comfort, medicine, food, and the best things have come to us from the West.
As one of my friends jokingly said:
“Everything foreign is good, even the news!”
In this bitter joke lies a lot of truth.
Deep down, we’ve come to believe that anything from abroad is good, and because we believe it, we prove it.
That is, if an idea comes from within ourselves, from our spouse, partner, or staff, we don’t accept it easily.

I remember before the revolution, when I brought an electronic ignition system for cars to Iran, I was a curious student who wanted to reduce fuel consumption and improve combustion.
Everyone asked me, “If it’s so good, why haven’t foreigners installed it on their cars?”
The benchmark of our lives is:
“What’s happening in the West?”

I respect the West and have learned a lot from it, and I’m still learning.
But this is a two-way interaction.
When I attend classes for my studies, I teach them things, and they teach me, and we both enjoy this relationship.
It’s not about me being overwhelmed and saying everything they say is right, or everything I say is right!
Both of these stem from a sense of inferiority—two sides of the same coin.

We need to learn:
To believe in ourselves, and the first step is to see ourselves as we are—not too big, not too small.
Wear our traditional clothes.
Look at Arab countries—they wear their traditional clothes at all national events, from the emir to everyone else. They appear in traditional attire and keffiyehs without shame. Meanwhile, we might, God forbid, feel humiliated! Because that color of inferiority is within us.

Anyone who mocks a person, mocks an accent—this is the first sign of a sense of inferiority.
Mocking someone’s stature is a sign of inferiority.
How can I mock someone and not feel inferior myself?

As Hafez said:
“See the perfection of love, not the flaws of sin,
For those without virtue focus on faults.”

When a person is not at peace with themselves, doesn’t love themselves, they constantly see the flaws in others.
When you excessively criticize someone, or someone excessively criticizes others, it’s a sign that:
They see too many flaws in themselves.
This is the story of their inner world.
Someone who smiles and sees respect, dignity, and enthusiasm in others,
Someone who sees love and value in others,
Their inner world is reflected outward.

Seminar X (Session 6!)
Let’s not raise spoiled, entitled children!
Let’s not raise pampered, demanding children.
But let’s not destroy their self-confidence and self-respect either.
Always tell our children, “We love you.”
We love your accent, we love your stature.

“Dwarf, bald, black, skinny, cockroach”—all these are said jokingly, but they’re insults, and we hammer them into their heads.
We don’t realize it, but we’re multiplying our own inferiority. It’s effortless.
Let’s empty this color of inferiority and fill it with self-confidence and self-belief.
The sign of this is:
Everything that belongs to you gains value.
Not because this is our religious brother, or this is someone who speaks our language, but because they’re human—always show respect.
Don’t belittle or mock anyone, and don’t make unnecessary jokes about someone.
Wear our traditional clothes and speak in our local accent.

We have a common language, and our official language, our elders, our poetry, and literature are tied to it. There’s no reason to feel ashamed of having a Turkish, Kurdish, Luri, or southern accent. Speak with your own accent.
What’s wrong with that? It’s perfectly fine, and we should never make anyone feel ashamed of who they are, whether a child or an adult. This is a sign of self-confidence and self-respect, and it’s a sign of the value I place on myself.

Teach our children:
This is our history.

We must ensure that everyone enjoys being human and feels happy, and this is in our hands.
It’s up to me and you to act and promote our work through behavior, not just words.

Let’s ensure our children never feel ashamed.
At a gathering, someone thought for a moment and said, “I want to say something, but I can’t remember,” and finally said, “Ramadan, Ramadan!”
We didn’t know what he meant.
Later, we realized he meant Ramadan.
He said, “Isn’t it Ramadan now? Why aren’t you fasting? Shouldn’t Muslims fast this month?”
One of the most beautiful behaviors I saw in Canada was this:
It was early in our arrival, and you know how stress builds up during this time. We grew up with guilt and fear, thinking we’d made a mistake and deserved punishment.
Because police cars and taxis look similar there, for a long time, every time we saw a taxi, we thought we’d done something wrong and were about to be arrested.
Later, we realized that the police are there to serve, and if they approach you, it’s to help you.

We need to correct these things within ourselves.
Be happy if the police knock on our door at midnight.
If our door is left open, if our car is left open, if a thief has passed by, they warn us to be careful or to evacuate the house if there’s a fire.
Let’s respond this way.
This is in our hands.
This can’t be imported from abroad!
All of this is self-respect and self-confidence.